But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
