He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
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