are you still at the devil's house?
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
