Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
you had me at cake vodka
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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