k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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