I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
