Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I will be naked everywhere
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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