She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
