And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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