We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
