My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
