the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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