Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
be right there i have to get my cape
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
