I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
