my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize