is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
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WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
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I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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