i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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