What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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