Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
