he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
