chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
