how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Green mimosas i think yes
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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