No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
