the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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