So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
