I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
