hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
