I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
