i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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