Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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