Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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