I cockslap morals
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..