Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
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Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
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I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?