You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
