isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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