If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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