Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
