I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
