were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
A+ Viking dick
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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