I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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