woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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