I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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