I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
