SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
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