would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
