i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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