before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize