Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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