Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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