I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
