At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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