There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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