i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I party with great urgency now.
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