I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
