If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Randomize
