And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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