you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
