Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the liver wants what the liver wants
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Randomize