ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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