so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
