Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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